My Adoption Journey
I suppose you could say my journey began in the summer of 2011. Receiving my monthly nurses union magazine in the post, as usual I started at the back and read the jobs and ads section. To my surprise in the middle of all the usual ones there was a little one tucked away looking for a foster family for “Paul”. a special boy with high medical needs that needed a family with medical experience to take on this loveable little boy, as his own family, although his mother and grandmother wanted to stay in his life, were unable to provide the high quality of care that he needed. Looking at that I thought I could do that, and the moreI thought about it the more the dream grew. There was no point in even enquiring about it because the family needed to be approved already to foster. But despite that I cut out the ad and have it stuck to my fridge, because it was the very first step in my adoption journey.
At this point, I didn’t even consider adoption, because in my world, adoption had always a last resort for older couples who were infertile and couldn’t have their own children after many failed cycles of IVF. It was a last resort, something you only did when all your other options were exhausted.And then you waited years and years for a child. It was never seen as something a single woman did, or was even possible for a single woman. How my views have changed since then! So at the time I only saw fostering as an option and I began praying about it. I began praying for the children I would get, children like Paul a special child with special medical needs, also for a set of identical twin girls. Im not sure whether they were dreams or visions or just my own idea, but I would see myself sitting up in the night in a rocking chair just holding a special child. This will all make sense later.
So fast forward a year, and I finally got up the courage to enquire about fostering with an agency. Filling out the application I was dreaming of the special twin girls, and even though it would be tough, I could do it and the rewards would far out weigh the challenges. A few days later there was a voicemail on my phone from a gentleman from the fostering agency. Working nights that week I wasn’t able to call him back right away, because I was asleep during office hours. So within a day or two, he called me back. The conversation was devastating. I explained my situation, that I was single and although I really wanted to do this I would also need to work a few two or three days a week in order to support myself. When he heard this, that was the end. He very nicely and politely told me that the rules set out for them by the government were very strict and they would not be able to place a child with me if I had to work. He did advise me to go directly to the government agency and see if I could work out something with them. Or my other option was to give up work and go on social welfare, then they could place a child with me. The very idea of this is so wrong, that as long as Im working and contributing to society I’m not eligible to foster a child, but if I stopped working and lived of the government then I could. What a backward system we have, that encourages people not to work.
This seemed like the end of my dream, or that it could only come true if I got married. I had been waiting for that for a long time and even that seemed to be slipping away despite my deathlike grip on it. Meanwhile I had something else stirring within me. A good friend had introduced me to the ministry of Eric and Leslie Ludy, and doing what any normal person would do I googled them and that led me to Ellerslie. By now its July 2012 and my world is beginning to crumble as the man I had waited three years for said no. So in the depths of depression and despair, I stumble upon some of Eric Ludy’s sermons from Ellerslie, intrigued I begin to listen. Here is a man who has created a school around the principles of Biblical honour, dignity and intimacy with Jesus. This is what God has been teaching me about the last year or so, but when you don’t see it modelled in society and you don’t now where to go to learn this, how can you grow to understand it. So I bought some of their books, and begin to read, as well as listen. Then the idea comes to go to Ellerslie for a semester in the Autumn. The more I read and listen the more I want to go. But then looking at all my responsibilities and commitments it just seems like an impossible task. Even though I have more than nine weeks holiday leave to take the chances of getting it off all at once when we are already short-staffed. On top of that is the commitments I made to coach in our local gymnastics club, and how difficult it is to get someone to take over that. Then there was what to do with my dog, my house. THe list seemed endless and it just seemed like the wrong time to go. So I decided to go the following summer instead, when gymnastics would be over and I could give work a little bit of time to find temporary cover, while I went. Happy with this decision I let it go.
By now its the 11th of September. On a day off I’m in bed late reading my book, “God’s Gift to Women” by Eric Ludy. Getting up to go to the bathroom, as I crawl out of bed I was thinking, “I’d still like to go (to Ellerslie)” and as if it was an audible voice I heard clearly “Go now!” I was shocked and started to argue with God, there was no way I could do it, it was now only 5 weeks until it started. There was no way I could work everything out in time. So I made a deal with God. “if they have places I’ll apply, but this close to starting, they wont have any so that will get me off the hook”. And so I sent off my first email to Ellerslie.
HI Sandi,
I’m just wondering if it is too late to apply for Ellerslie Basic training starting next month?
Thanks
Straight and to the point. THere was no reason to mess around, and besides it would already be full so that would be that. To my surprise I received a reply back later that day from Grace.
Hello Paula,
I hope you’re doing well!
We still have room for girls to apply for the Fall semester (next month’s), but we are full for guys. 🙂
Let me know if you have any questions or if there’s anything else I can help you with!
Blessings in Him
Grace
And so the story begins. I dutifully applied the next day all the while telling God that I better not get in. I really should have known better. I used that excuse on Him a few years previous when applying to ministry school, I’ll apply but don’t you dare let me get in. Of course both times I got in and they turned out to be major points of change in my life. After I applied I began to tell God that on the off chance I got in, (because in my mind the chances were between slim and none) He was going to have to organise everything! If He wanted me to go then it was all up to Him. Looking back now i think its outrageous. God wanted me to do it to pour out incredible blessings onto my life, and I was just being difficult. So I applied on wednesday 12th September, and forewarned everyone. My parents would be on dog-stitting duties, I let work know that this would be a possibility and hoped that some miracle would occur that my gym hours would get covered.
First thing on monday 17th September I received an email that began…
Hello Paula,
I have decided, after reading your application, and because of the shortness of time, I am going to go ahead and accept you to come to Ellerslie…. Following is your formal letter of acceptance….
And so I was going! By the next day I had booked my flights, told work and gymnastics I was going, I did feel bad doing it at such short notice, but when things are bad sometimes all you have is obedience and the ability to say “Yes Lord.” So that is what I did.
buildandacquire 